Just Over the Hilltop

We recently had a beautiful room renovation happen to our main bedroom. It was long overdue, to be honest. We’ve lived in our home for nine years and up until now, we had never done a single thing to our bedroom – no paint, no curtains, not much cleaning, I confess, and it was becoming the “catch all” room for any of the kids’ junk that didn’t have a home or paperwork that needed to be filed or toys that went to time out; our room was where everything came to die and collect dust and receive curses from me as I went to bed (and woke up) in a space that was for sure not life giving, but rather quite the opposite.

The circumstances of how the renovation took place were quite exciting and will be airing this summer on HGTV, actually! (I’ll write more about that experience later.) Going on this fun, albeit challenging, adventure was the only way for us to bite the bullet and get our house [read: bedroom] in order. So we went for it! We moved out for nearly three weeks with friends, handed the keys over to trusted professionals and then, when the time was right, we had the “Big Reveal” and we got to come HOME and see the beautiful space that had been prepared for us. And beautiful it was! – however, the reveal left me even more homesick.

I couldn’t help but see all these weeks of hard work and this massive team of professionals who worked so diligently on our home and think only of my home in heaven. It made me remember how right now, literally this minute, Jesus is preparing a place for us! We’re in the “move out” phase of the reno of life, if you will. We’ve been displaced earth side at this time, but our home (if you know Jesus as your Savior) is in HEAVEN. And as much fun as you can make it being “displaced” – staying with friends, eating out, making the best of the displacement – you should know and feel deep down in your soul that this world is NOT your home. We should be eagerly anticipating the Big Reveal! I, for one, cannot wait for THAT reveal day! I anticipate it and am so eager for it! I’m so homesick for heaven and to see Jesus and what it is He’s been working on for us this whole time!

The day of our bedroom reveal, when I experienced such great joy and happiness at the beauty and splendor of the transformation and pure amazement at how gifted the designer and her team were, I also had the pleasure of observing the pride and joy of their hard work. It was smiles all around that day! And I picture how proud and joyful Jesus will be to get to reveal to us our eternal home that He has prepared for us.

Jesus said, “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” John 14 : 2-3

There’s an old southern gospel song whose lyrics say, “I’ve got a mansion, just over the hilltop. In that bright land where, we’ll never grow old. And some day yonder, we will never more wander, but walk on streets that are purest gold.” (https://youtu.be/YfZ3qyYnzJ0) I love southern gospel music. I grew up on it, in fact. And the thing I love about what most southern gospel music has to offer is that it’s usually directing your eyes to heaven, to the future coming of Jesus and to the hope that can be found in trusting that He will be back to rescue His church. (Acts 1:11) When I listen to songs like “Mansion Over the Hilltop”, “What a Beautiful Day (for the Lord to Come Again)”, “Going Up Yonder”, “I’ve Never Been This Homesick Before”…these songs all remind me that this world is not my home, I have a Savior eagerly awaiting “Reveal Day” that loves me and wants to show me the beauty and splendor of what He has created and that the home there, in heaven, will last for eternity. It will not faint or grow old and weary. It won’t collect dust or need a coat of touch up paint over time.

As beautiful and functional as my bedroom is now, and as much as I love it, it’s still just “stuff.” My treasure is not found in a room, or in a TV show, or in any thing that will be burned up and thrown into the fire. (2 Peter 3:10) I’m trying with all that I have to only store up for myself treasures that are in heaven, where moth and rust don’t destroy. (Matthew 6:19-21) Are you living that way, friend? Are your eyes on eternity? Or on the temporal? We’re running out of time FAST. Now is the time to set your eyes on Jesus. Maybe it’s just resetting your priorities. Maybe it’s a total revamp of where your treasure is. Or maybe you don’t know Jesus at all and I seem like some crazy lady (#hereforit ;)). Whether your final destination is in heaven in a mansion that Jesus is preparing for you, or if the opposite is true and eternal separation from God is where you’re headed, this world is temporal and not your home. This world is a tiny vapor, a mist in all of eternity, and a time for you to hear the Good News of a Savior who loved you, died for you in order to rescue you and is a killer designer and is literally creating a place for you in heaven if you would accept Him and His free gift of salvation.

Vapor Mist Life

These are some crazy times we’re living in, amiright?! If nothing else, can the world just agree that we’re all crazy and it’s not a contest? No matter where we each land on today’s [feisty] hot topics like masks v. naked faces, vax v. no vax, freedom to choose v. mandate everything – there’s many a topic we could choose from to get divisive about. Christians and non-believers alike are fired UP about any and all of the topics and which is right, who is dumb, how it should be… and it seems like no one in any of the camps is having stage fright speaking their mind and reminding you that if you don’t agree with their stance, you are literally THE worst. 

I wonder, though, what would happen if we Christians were this passionate about reminding people that there’s actually an eternal life we should all be worrying about more than this current one we find ourselves in. The Bible tells us like it is – this life is but a vapor. It is a mist, that appears and then is gone. And once it vanishes, it’s on to the actual life that this quick, dress rehearsal one was preparing us for. “…What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” James 4:14

Insert spoiler alert here – we are all terminal. We will all die. Every single person you meet on this earth will spend eternity somewhere. Either in heaven or in hell. Why aren’t we screaming it from the rooftops?! Why isn’t that on the newsfeed blowing up your phone? Because the enemy is real and his tactic is to steal, kill and destroy… #oldnews. He’s stealing your peace and killing your hope and destroying your relationships. And we’re just standing around letting him. Well, I, for one, am done. 


If you are a Christian and you believe the Bible, we are instructed (repeatedly) not to fear. Should we walk around and lick doorknobs and be reckless? No. But we should be so focused on making disciples and sharing the Good News (aka the GOSPEL) that clickbait headlines about all the horrible ways we’re going to either die or inadvertently murder everyone we know and love would be irrelevant to us. We are supposed to be living on mission! If we truly love our neighbors, wouldn’t we be sharing Jesus and letting our lost friends know there’s a way to ETERNAL LIFE through Jesus Christ rather than making an idol out of this vapor mist life?!

The situation is this – God is holy. We are not holy. We are all sinners condemned to die. Even if you’re a “good person” and your “family is Christian” and you “go to church” and you “are kind to people #beakindhuman”. The Bible says there is no one good, no not one –  “And Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.’” Luke 18:19 

But God, in His infinite love and provision, sent His son Jesus to pay for our sins by dying on a cross. Your sins will all be paid for – either by you in hell, or by what Jesus did on the cross. He offers up a free gift to anyone willing to admit they are a sinner and repent and come to Him. Jesus overcame death – after He died on the cross, He came back to life three days later and conquered death, making a way for those of us who accept His gift to live eternally. And not only that, but to have the peace that only He provides as we live out our days on this earth with His Spirit indwelling us.. “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were appointed for me, when as yet there was not one of them….” Psalm 139:16. God has numbered our days before we were even born and we can rest and trust Him. We can trust that the God who created the entire universe and numbered every person’s days before He created them, is trustworthy and true. Let’s all decide to focus on our mission here on this planet – to love God and love others, to go and make disciples and to share the Good News! .

Easter Memories Old and New

Fourteen Easter seasons ago Ryan and I were processing the information that had just been handed down to us from a perinatologist in Austin, Texas informing us that our son had spina bifida. Finding out that something is wrong with your child is completely overwhelming. I’ve said before in that moment, there was really no going back to life before hearing that diagnosis. From the way I saw it, there were three different endings; all of them difficult.. If we chose to terminate, which was offered to us as a “treatment”, I’m not sure how you heal from that. If our baby ended up dying in utero or at birth, I’m not sure how you heal from that. Or, if we chose to educate ourselves on his diagnosis and then try and give him the best chance at life, I’m not sure how you heal from that. There is no handbook for this.

This [Holy] week, we are approaching Easter weekend, 14 years after receiving our original diagnosis and Hayden is currently inpatient in a pediatric ICU dealing with multiple acute diagnoses. (And this, coming off of a full week of all eight of our family members taking a turn with a brutal stomach bug.) We were already living on little to no sleep and then Hayden‘s stomach bug transitioned into respiratory issues, and pneumonia and a virus and also a UTI. He had been feeling pretty miserable for quite a few days and since we know when to fold ’em, we took him to the ER for admission into PICU late last week..

We’re writing our own handbook as each day and month and year passes by. I’m constantly being asked questions about Hayden‘s care or Hayden‘s needs. Every.single.month someone from Medicaid calls me and asks me what appointments Hayden has been to, if there have been changes in his care, if he has any new diagnoses. None of these are things that I chose nor would I pick to be doing. But, it is the reality of trying our best to give Hayden the best life possible. And I have to say, I’m pretty dang proud of the life he is living.

Not only has he taught me countless lessons about life and made me a braver, more confident caregiver and advocate, but he has put a spotlight on our family. And now that we’re in plain view to the world, we will to point the world to Jesus. I will never stop saying that I hope and pray when people look at our family and everything that we’re doing and the chaos of it all, that they only see our JOY and I want more than anything for them to know that the source of that joy is JESUS. What better time to remind the world than with Easter weekend approaching in a few days?

Fourteen years ago on Easter weekend, my world was falling apart. But around 2000 and so years ago on Passover weekend, Jesus‘ world was falling apart and yet also falling into place. It is because of Easter weekend that our family has the hope that we have. Because, you see on Easter weekend after He was murdered on mine and your behalf, Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but only for three days. He was resurrected on the third day and overcame death! And in so doing, he has given my family, and your family, the chance to also overcome death. Because of the gift and good news of the gospel (i.e. Jesus died for our sins and rose again and now we have a free gift for the taking), we have hope in eternity. So, when I watch my son lay in his hospital bed feeling miserable or I see him struggle in his wheelchair because of his inability to walk, or when I see his Autism diagnosis get in the way of he and his peers interacting, I do feel grief for what is lost on this earth – but beyond that I have joy. Because I know that no matter what happens on this planet, because Hayden has accepted the free gift of salvation that Jesus offered to him, Hayden will have eternal life in heaven and will be restored one day. I know that with 1000% certainty. I just wish that everyone else would come to know that, too. Look at this child, look at our family and see that there is something bigger than yourself and this world, and that there is a source of life and hope and joy.

So coming into this Easter weekend, I am thankful. I am thankful for all the years I’ve had with Hayden, I am thankful for the platform to share Jesus. I am thankful that God can turn ashes into beauty. I am thankful that 14 Easters ago my world and I knew it was ending. Because when my world ended, my life was actually able to begin. I pray that our family will bless you and encourage you and have you seeking truth. For me, it took an earth shattering event to wake me up to how wonderful God‘s plan is. And if sharing our truth and our life with the world brings one more person into communion with God, then every single tear that I’ve cried over the span of 14 years was absolutely worth it.

The only thing that matters, is you knowing Jesus. Knowing His love for you and the sacrifice He made for you. There is no time like the present. I can tell you firsthand, life is short. Don’t put off another day coming to know the Lord. And not just so that you get to go to heaven. Yes, that’s great.I hope we get to be neighbors and hang out together for eternity. But please don’t just be after Jesus for His stuff. Be after Jesus for Jesus. He makes each day worth living and coming to know Him more and more each day has been the greatest gift of my life.

“If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9