Any Office fans here? Remember that quote when Michael Scott explains that sometimes he starts a sentence and he doesn’t know where it’s going… that’s me today with this blog post. I haven’t written a blog in 345 days. But why not just start one and see where it takes us, guys? We’ll all find out together where we’re going.

I’ll even start by confessing that I literally FORGOT how to get into the backend of the website to write a post and upload a blog. That’s how long it’s been. My brain (and computer) literally forgot what the first step was to even blog something. And not without reason. This last year and a half has kicked.my.butt!

I posted something on my Instagram page (and if I had any technology skills at all I would post it here, and it would be all cute and positioned just right, and you could read it for yourself, but I don’t have that gift and I’m too tired to learn a new skill so just use your imagination, or go follow me on the gram @Johnna.Hensley where I rant about all sorts of crazy) but suffice it to say, the last 18 months have been SO HARD on me, my family, my kids…. and that’s coming from the person who has been through some rough, tough things, yall! But, man. When your brain hits it limit… sorry ’bout you, my friend. You’re in for some rocky times. And that’s where I’ve been. Willing myself to crawl out of the muck on the daily.

Back in October, I became a patient of the Amen Clinic in Dallas and had brain scans done to see inside my brain and truly look at what the culprit was behind all of my mental health struggles. It was quite a monetary investment; but also quite an enlightening experience and I highly recommend doing it if you ever have the chance! I modified and increased the types of supplements I was taking, started Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and came under the care of an incredible team there. And then in November, our family went through a major crisis, then a financial emergency, then then then…. it was like the hits just wouldn’t stop. I was incredibly thankful at that point for having gotten myself in a better place with the help of the Amen Clinic, especially since the circumstances of life were (and still are) incredibly challenging.

The thing is, we all go through seasons in life that just flat out suck. Unfortunately, for my family, we already had the odds stacked against us and then stressors just kept being added on top of us until it felt like I was buried alive, frozen in time, unable to move. I’m now able to move; some days in slow motion, some days feeling like myself moving at a normal pace, but either way movement is movement.

Thankfully, I still make it to the gym and I was still able to complete a 75 Hard Challenge I started in August with three friends. I truly think those things helped saved me – and since completing 75 Hard, I no longer drink alcohol which I also think helps my brain function and overall health. And I certainly treasure my time in the gym at 5am daily because it’s the mental focus I need to tackle the days of chaos that I encounter. Not to mention, it’s keeping me strong as I prepare to be a forever-nester and keep lifting my adult child in and out of his bed and his potty chair, especially lately as I’ve been serving as his nurse multiple days a week when we lost full staffing over a year ago.

Maybe I’ll be around the blog more frequently in the near future. Hayden and I have a very special and exciting announcement coming soon [LORD WILLING] and we can’t wait to share it with everyone! But, for today, 345 days after my last blog post, today’s accomplishment is writing this teeny tiny blog post to nowhere. Improversation, yall. 😉