So. Many. Boxes. Just dropped off in my living room and I was expected not only to know how to use the items inside, but also to find a spot big enough to store them in an organized fashion so all the many [many!] hands working in my home would know where to find the supplies they needed.

That’s how this thing works. You take a baby home on a ventilator and the housewarming gift you receive is the presence of a DME (Durable Medical Equipment) company and all of their “goodies” being offloaded to you. A welcome offering. A tease of what the next decade or more (if you’re lucky) will bring. Loads of supply shipments – chux pads, ventilator circuits, suction catheters, pulse oximeter probes.

And so begins the “overtaking of all the space” movement for families like mine. Our home is now a PICU Omnicell. The storage for beautiful guest towels and extra bedding is replaced with bins and tubs attacked by a label maker. Organization is key when there are staff members working in your home around the clock and they all have to access the closet – previously known as your beautiful linen closet – to do their job.

Labels read “Suction Canisters” “Gloves” “Oxygen Tubing” “Vent Filters” – This is your life now. Welcome to it.

I caught a glimpse of our linen closet last night. The door was open and the hall light was on. I just sat and stared at it for a long moment. I pondered out loud to Ryan, “I wonder what normal people have in their hall linen closets?”

We’ve lost our garage space, our hall closet space, our kitchen cabinets, our pantry. It’s all dedicated to storing and organizing all the equipment required to keep a human alive. We trip over bikes in our garage because we have no place for them, since the bike storage is taken over by catheters and sterile water. We keep an Instapot on top of our dryer because an entire kitchen cabinet is full to the max of meds, syringes and ports. We hide PT benches and equipment behind our couch so we appear “normal” when people come over.

It’s an odd feeling to contemplate what a normal house would look like, knowing that if you had a “normal house” it would be because your child wasn’t living in it with you.

In random moments like this – catching a glimpse of a linen closet in the light or seeing your neighbor’s tidy garage while you’re out on a walk – that you evaluate what your priorities are. Sure, I would love a Home & Gardens Home, but that wasn’t in the cards for me. Learning what you have to let go of helps you realize what you want to hold on to.

Our house isn’t perfect, but it’s full of sweet memories and little people and loads of {loud} fun. And honestly, I think I like that more than a house that looks like a Container Store show room.